Resource and financial services sectors come together to split crop of incumbent federal politicians – The Betoota Advocate



In the confines of a conference room bathed in natural light, a major meeting for the future of the country is being held today.

Hailing from all over Sydney, Melbourne and downtown Perth, influential figures from the resource and financial services sectors gathered today to discuss an urgent matter.

Who takes the latest crop of federal politicians getting kicked out of parliament.

Similar to the process that used to take place in commercial radio after the reality TV season, the meeting involves key stakeholders coming together to assign certain people to certain organizations.

With the election days away, it is believed that sufficiently solid plans can be made for what to do with a potential outgoing treasurer who has strong business connections in Melbourne.

Or what about a no-name Liberal MP who has a foothold in Sydney’s east end and can work any room if he needs to too.

Or an incumbent Labor who lobbied for the resources sector as his electorate suffered the consequences of human-induced climate change.

“It’s about who did what really,” explained an insider who asked to remain anonymous today.

“The private sector must take them all, because of the back scratching”

“But it’s about how much each of these politicians earns from their service,” the insider continued.

“If you helped a coal project receive government investment under the guise of ‘infrastructure,’ you deserve an extra 100,000 for your consultancy work.”

“If you’ve done something big like deregulate some aspect of the insurance industry that has increased profits, then you’re looking at a little more than that.”

“Obviously the companies that have benefited the most are more forced to cut jobs, but we’re sharing the load around.”

“It’s all about the horses for the lessons.”

Nominations are expected to be announced quietly in industry-specific publications over the next 6 months.

More soon.


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